I identity with these thoughts. Won't say more. Loved these lines: something about being in the welcoming comfort of hospitality helped to steady me. The feeling of being held by others, reassurance. I love to recreate a sense of that, a place to gather where people feel safe, soothed.
Your place is one of those soothing places. I'm creating one too. And yes, it's been so cold here. I look forward to it changing.
Big stuff! And yes we still worry even when they’re all grown up and have moved away. My grandmother used to worry when any of us was travelling and I used to scoff. It’ll be fine Id say. Now I’m her!
I felt this so deeply, that sense of failure and things being 'my fault', and I am so glad you chose to write about it. We need these stories to affirm our humanity! I am also glad to hear you can't face going outdoors either. The gloom is too much! X
Thank you for sharing. It's these things that keep us awake at night as we play out all the possible scenarios, the could have beens, right? I think as parents we constantly feel torn, living in paradoxes, because we want them to be wild and free and to explore and be curious about the world and yet we also want them to be near and to be safe. We exist in this tension always. As a mum of 3 who had had several of those moment myself I relate. Also, can't beat a Morton's chippy! Sat by the stormy sea in the car a few weeks ago in Ballycastle enjoying fish n chips and it was so comforting.
I completely felt everything in your words, Ciaraa. I lost my tiny son on a ferry from Italy to Corsica once, for all of two minutes, but it felt like hours. He'd been to get an ice cream with my brother in law, but my brother in law got distracted and came back without him. OMG. I still remember the icy terror, the tears, the horror. Anyway, he's 30 now and ok, but we do worry, constantly, don't we. My mother is 86 and worries about all of us (I'm the eldest of 4). And I just read another post five minutes ago about someone having her friend's teenage son go missing the other day and still not being found.
I live in Switzerland and it's like being under a foggy lid, until, once in a while, and late in the day, the sun manages to break through. It's beautiful in the mountains...
Sending love, and I hope it warms up for all of us, and that we live safe, uneventful lives!!
Terror, so awful. Thanks for reading and sorry if it brought back those feelings to the fore. How gorgeous it sounds when the mountains appear in the afternoon, dreaming of an adventure now!
Although I know you have three healthy, beautiful children, I read your London train experience with my heart in my throat. It seems miraculous that your little boy was found safe and sound. I’m grateful to you for sharing this ❤️
Such comforting images to go with this heart-rending, nerve-wracking post, Ciara. Well done on your writing success. I am a fan of Morton's, Guinness and the lovely Ursa Minor... looking forward to being back in Ballycastle soon.
My heart was in my throat and tears in my eyes throughout this. Thank you for being so honest, are some kids just born to explore!? Ren is definitely one of these, he just hasn’t had the opportunity to get on a train by himself yet but I could see it happening 🫣 “Stop” isn’t in his vocabulary! It’s so hard not to let the anxiety take over. Wish I could give you a hug!! Xxx
I identity with these thoughts. Won't say more. Loved these lines: something about being in the welcoming comfort of hospitality helped to steady me. The feeling of being held by others, reassurance. I love to recreate a sense of that, a place to gather where people feel safe, soothed.
Your place is one of those soothing places. I'm creating one too. And yes, it's been so cold here. I look forward to it changing.
Thank you Julie 🧡
That was gut wrenching Ciara. You are a powerful writer, such sensitivity. We miss our regular trips over the mountain to Ballycastle this year!
I agree. Ciara, I felt your terror, and nearly cried when I found out your little boy was alright.
A nightmare that needed shared! We miss you too Maeve 🧡
Big stuff! And yes we still worry even when they’re all grown up and have moved away. My grandmother used to worry when any of us was travelling and I used to scoff. It’ll be fine Id say. Now I’m her!
Thank you Mary, we’re born to worry I suppose!
I felt this so deeply, that sense of failure and things being 'my fault', and I am so glad you chose to write about it. We need these stories to affirm our humanity! I am also glad to hear you can't face going outdoors either. The gloom is too much! X
When will the gloom end?! We need lightness and brightness!
Thank you for sharing. It's these things that keep us awake at night as we play out all the possible scenarios, the could have beens, right? I think as parents we constantly feel torn, living in paradoxes, because we want them to be wild and free and to explore and be curious about the world and yet we also want them to be near and to be safe. We exist in this tension always. As a mum of 3 who had had several of those moment myself I relate. Also, can't beat a Morton's chippy! Sat by the stormy sea in the car a few weeks ago in Ballycastle enjoying fish n chips and it was so comforting.
Totally Kelly! Ever learning but always with the comfort of chips!
Wow. I felt those emotions as I read your words. Raw, vivid. Thanks for sharing and excellently written as always. Big love ❤️
Thanks Soph, tough to write but good to keep shining a light on the real life vs fake life we are tormented with everyday! X
Abso-bloody-lutely. So important and essential in these times x
I completely felt everything in your words, Ciaraa. I lost my tiny son on a ferry from Italy to Corsica once, for all of two minutes, but it felt like hours. He'd been to get an ice cream with my brother in law, but my brother in law got distracted and came back without him. OMG. I still remember the icy terror, the tears, the horror. Anyway, he's 30 now and ok, but we do worry, constantly, don't we. My mother is 86 and worries about all of us (I'm the eldest of 4). And I just read another post five minutes ago about someone having her friend's teenage son go missing the other day and still not being found.
I live in Switzerland and it's like being under a foggy lid, until, once in a while, and late in the day, the sun manages to break through. It's beautiful in the mountains...
Sending love, and I hope it warms up for all of us, and that we live safe, uneventful lives!!
Cesca xx
Terror, so awful. Thanks for reading and sorry if it brought back those feelings to the fore. How gorgeous it sounds when the mountains appear in the afternoon, dreaming of an adventure now!
Although I know you have three healthy, beautiful children, I read your London train experience with my heart in my throat. It seems miraculous that your little boy was found safe and sound. I’m grateful to you for sharing this ❤️
My Lord, how stressful! Xxx
Such comforting images to go with this heart-rending, nerve-wracking post, Ciara. Well done on your writing success. I am a fan of Morton's, Guinness and the lovely Ursa Minor... looking forward to being back in Ballycastle soon.
Looking forward to having you back x
My heart was in my throat and tears in my eyes throughout this. Thank you for being so honest, are some kids just born to explore!? Ren is definitely one of these, he just hasn’t had the opportunity to get on a train by himself yet but I could see it happening 🫣 “Stop” isn’t in his vocabulary! It’s so hard not to let the anxiety take over. Wish I could give you a hug!! Xxx
I will take a hug whenever I see you again darling! Always needed xxx